Mark Hanna: Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Money talks and bullshit takes the bus. Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust, they're to the manor born. Captain Ted Beecham: All the sudden I - one week - nobody had anything down there any more. There is no such thing as bad publicity. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. [to the waiter] Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Pick Up the Phone & Start Dialing - The Wolf of Wall Street I'm gonna take custody of the kids. What, you wanna go inside and blow some lines of baking powder, baking soda? You can give generously to the church or political party of your choice. What do you mean you want a divorce? Give me a kiss, sweetheart. That's good for me. Donnie Azoff: , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. You know, every time someone rises up in this world, there's always gonna be some asshole trying to drag 'em down. Turn around! Patrick Denham: Donnie Azoff: Donnie Azoff: But it gets even better, baby. And I hate fucking chess!, And my wifewell, I guess shed earned her scene with me, but still; did she really have that much reason to be angry? [Sees Jordan snorting cocaine] I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Rogue wave! Implosions are ugly. Is it Wednesday already? Cause I cant keep track of your professions honey! Jordan Belfort: Yet Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: And actually do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day, huh? Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. [raves at Brad] But it's not like what you think or whatever, you know Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: One fucking day, you couldn't keep it together? What the fuck are you talking about? Donnie Azoff: Don't do that. Jordan Belfort: Say hi to Rocco and Rocco! Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling? Go ahead and fuck me. Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up. So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls Stevie Emerson 1.22M subscribers 1.6M views 2 years ago WATCH BLOOPERS FOR EVERY VIDEO. All rights reserved. Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: Yeah, it's getting old and decrepit. They're fuckin' - the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, I mean, it's on a whole other level. Janet (Jordan's Assistant): It got so bad, I had to declare the office a fuck-free zone between the hours of 9 and 7. Listen to me, if you piss up the SEC's leg, you end up with your tits in a wringer. No? If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. What a fucking burden, and actually had to do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day? I'm fucked up, Brad. $4,000? We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. The Cerebral Palsy phase. That was so fucking great. Naomi Lapaglia: People have been buzzing about Martin Scorsese's new movie, "The Wolf of . The True Story Behind The Wolf of Wall Street Movie - Collider Donnie, what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit? Jesus Christ, I think you have a fuckin' drug problem. Of course, after the bachelor party, me, the Duke, needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage. Not only is it motivating but the dialogues are hilarious, the acting is excellent and the cameo by Matthew McConaughey always makes me laugh. There's no nobility in poverty. I fucked her brains out for eleven seconds. Her father is the brother of my mom. Hi, fellas! So take a good look, daddy. Whose fucking teeth are you gonna knock in? Bald as as China doll. [Sees a young broker cleaning his fishbowl] Drama, Just hold on tight. So boring. Who is she? it's possibly the best acting he's done in anything but it's also to do with the presentation. Right there? Robbie Feinberg ('Pinhead'): And act as if you are already a tremendous success, and as sure as I stand here today - you will become successful., You dont choose who you fall in love with, do you? You're a father now. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner, christened the elevator by getting a blow job from the sales assistant. Some of these girls, you should see them. They don't give a shit about money. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. Everyone wants to get rich. Jordan Belfort: Good. It's not like Look. ~ Jordan Belfort. Fuck you! OK. Required fields are marked *. Hey, everybody, listen up! Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran. Hey, listen, I quit! You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? Well that's good news. I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? Oh my God! Mark Hanna: Naomi Lapaglia: Its a whazy. [laughing] Drugs. I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Many weren't happy with the ending, though it was a very accurate representation of this day and time, and falls in line with typical Scorsese films. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house. Holy fuck, you did just say that. It's like a non-alcoholic beer. Her name was Pam and to her credit, she did have this amazing technique with this wild twisting jerk motion. I was hooked in seconds. Let's go the other fucking way! Who's a faggot? Hey Paulie, what's up? Jordan, this is how it's gonna go. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: Next came the NASDAQs, who were one step down from the Blue Chips. [in narration] Naomi Lapaglia: The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. Does that ring a bell? Hold on baby. Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I haven't made love to you in so long. Mark Hanna: So in that sense youre lucky Im not the one who does the hiring around here., contrary to previous assumptions, young men and women who possess the collective social graces of a herd of sex-crazed water buffalo and have an intelligence quotient in the range of Forrest Gump on three hits of acid, can be taught to sound like Wall Street wizards, as long as you write every last word down for them and then keep drilling it into their heads again and againevery day, twice a dayfor a year straight., I laughed right along with her, but inside I was dying. Not Italy. Because, at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of the limo, wearing a $2000 suit and a $40,000 gold fuckin' watch. Naomi Lapaglia: No, daddy doesn't even get to touch mommy for a very, very, very long time. I check my messages every day when I come home from work my answering machine zero! Or maybe manipulate events are the more appropriate words. Patrick Denham: The Wolf of Wall Street: Directed by Martin Scorsese. Donnie Azoff: You're gonna miss it! Well, technically, $72,000 last month. He actually went to law school. Donnie Azoff: And with this script, which is your new harpoon, I'm gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab. I fucked up so bad. Jordan Belfort: Yeah. You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? And guess what? Jordan Belfort: Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Yeah, like Buddhists. Eventually Ben married her, which was pretty amazing, considering she blew every single guy in the office. Mr. Hanna, you're able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job? Are people looting and raping? They're not buying shit. How are you doing today? Explains you. [narration] Bulls. My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys *or fucking dies!*. Trust me, okay? $26,000 for one fucking dinner! Here's a list of a few of the best lines from the movie: I want you to deal with Your problems by becoming rich. Its not on the elemental chart. Because they said eventually everyone's going to have to give information on this case so at the end of the day it might not even be a factor. Jordan Belfort: [All at once] [narrating to the camera] I'm still hard. Then look no further. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest, picks up the phone, then calmly, in a transatlantic accent, Sees a young broker cleaning his fishbowl, Pretends to walk away, but suddenly turns back, Dangles the fish from the bowl by its tail and swallows it. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Mark Hanna: You people are all shit out of luck. About a month later, Donnie and I decided to double team her on a Saturday afternoon while our wives were out shopping for Christmas presents. Jordan Belfort: What I want to know is, have you got the guts to live? Jordan Belfort, You dont choose who you fall in love with, do you? I'm constantly weighing everything in my mind and trying to predict how my actions will influence events. I was born too - too early. You know? You can't even buy them anymore. Cinemark Jordan Belfort, the former stock broker whose story inspired the hit movie The Wolf of Wall Street, is suing the filmmakers for $300m (229m). [masturbates to Naomi] Jordan, it's fucking good, right? Doesn't even matter to you! You were on the floor rollin' around and shit. You gotta stay relaxed. There were two guys over there on the table. But pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just fifteen minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Jordan Belfort: He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know. I told you, you're not taking my fucking kids. Me, I jack it 12-15 times a week. Together with his trusted lieutenant (Jonah Hill) and a merry band of brokers, Belfort makes a huge fortune by defrauding wealthy investors out of millions. Is your landlord ready to evict you? There's no such thing as an Amish Buddhist. [Pretends to walk away, but suddenly turns back]. The biggest IPO in this firm's history, what the fuck is he doing? Right! Jordan Belfort: If youre into films about money, sales, success and that rags to riches story then it is all of that with a bunch of crazy, obscene and extreme all thrown in. Oh baby. There is no nobility in poverty. Share the best GIFs now >>> Let me tell you something else. Leave your emotions at the door. Jordan Belfort, The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you cant achieve it. Jordan Belfort, 97% of the people who quit too soon are employed by the 3% who didnt. Jordan Belfort, Hard work beats talent. Jordan Belfort: Money doesn't just buy you a better life - better food, better cars, better pussy - it also makes you a better person. Movie Info. Baby, you know you got real anger issues. I want to. What the fuck is that kid doing? That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Mark Hanna: There's no nobility in poverty. Because I want you to come for me, baby. See, for a brief fleeting moment, I'd forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale. Really, really great. You understand? You know what a fugazi is? Jordan Belfort: Thank you for your vote of confidence and welcome to the Investor's Center. That conniving twat! [Donnie haphazardly gets out from car] These little bastards were so strong I had discovered a whole new phase. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. Jordan Belfort: Hey, sweetheart! Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: Get off me! Jordan Belfort: Every time! Jordan Belfort, When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. Jordan Belfort, I believe in total immersion, if you want to be rich, you have to program your mind to be rich. Its never landed. Jordan Belfort: Di Caprio and Scorsese combine for one of the most fun financial movies of this decade. He thinks you're fuckin' Gordon Gekko. The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. You're in the fucking minor leagues. Trust me. There were four right here. That's right! [offers pen to Chester] We are going down! Now, right now, John, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. Jordan Belfort: You're doing fucking drugs right now? Id suggest you also read my post 33 Inspiring Jordan Belfort Quotes For Success. lastly it's down to the humour. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Righto, Jean, that'll be great Cheerio! Naomi Lapaglia: Oh my God! This is my home! She's a classy lady. Naomi and I got along. You know, just people say shit. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. Do it differently each time. The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) - Quotes - IMDb Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. It's like playing a game of chess with your own life. The Wolf of Wall Street may be an entertaining film based on a true story, but it places too much emphasis on style over substance and fails to become anything more than a compilation of short memoirs from Jordan Belfort's life. 33 Inspiring Jordan Belfort Quotes For Success. You're almost there! It's startin' to shit in the house again. You gotta be a fucking pal You know what, I'm gonna give you a fucking pass, just give me the case. After all, the IRS knew about this sort of stuff, didnt they? BENI-FUCKING-HANA? Come on. Jordan Belfort: THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Drama 2013 2 hr 59 min English audio R CC Watch with free trial Buy or rent Sex. Captain Ted Beecham: All right? With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Wolf Of Wall Street animated GIFs to your conversations. So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you don't let him do that 'cause that would make it real. Sell me that pen. They're up my ass. On my Dad's side. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Who? They're business expenses. I don't drink anymore. Whats inspirational about Belforts story is actually how he was able to recover from his fall from grace. Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna : So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it's at 16 and he's all fucking happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his fucking money and run home, you . How the fuck else are you supposed to do this job? But we have to pretend we know. Mark Hanna, The name of the game, moving the money from the clients pocket to your pocket. Mark Hanna, Always keep the client on the Ferris wheel. Naomi Lapaglia: Regal [after shipwreck] She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. I don't even know. Jordan Belfort: In 1987, Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) takes an entry-level job at a Wall Street brokerage firm. I want you to fuck me real hard. I don't have jack-shit. Absolutely fucking not. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. More importantly, you will learn. [to Jordan after the incident] "Has Brad apologized yet? Donnie Azoff: It's not fucking real. Jordan Belfort: The 4.95-acre equestrian estate comes with a wine cellar, a ten-stall stable, and a saltwater pool. And once you do fall in lovethat obsessive sort of love, that all-consuming love, where two people cant stand to be apart from each other for even a momenthow are you supposed to let a love like that pass you by? Jordan Belfort. Jordan Belfort: I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. What, if the kid's retarded? Oh, hey! Jordan Belfort: Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. Jordan Belfort, Successful people are 100% convinced that they are masters of their own destiny, theyre not creatures of circumstance, they create circumstance, if the circumstances around them suck they change them. Jordan Belfort, I want you to back yourself into a corner. In fact, you never did anything wrong in the first place. No, they're not retarded or anything like that Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. I gotta tell you. I want to stay married, Dad, but it's crazy out there. Donnie Azoff: He's just warning everybody. Based on Jordan Belfort's autobiography. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Plot - Jordan Belfort earns by day thousands of dollars per minute, money that he squanders by night at the same velocity in drugs, sex and travels around the world. Mark Hanna: Put the fucking car in the park, you dumb fucking idiot! Are you out of your fucking mind? I got news for you. I mean, I don't want to get personal or anything, but are they okay? Baby, it gets worse. I mean that was the last time we ever have sex. Donnie Azoff: Everybody on point! Jordan Belfort: I'm constantly asking myself questions. [stands up tall, smiling] 'Wolf of Wall Street' Estate Listed for $10 Million: Photos - Insider Fuck. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Max Belfort: I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Oh, no. Nobody - and I don't care if you're Warren Buffet or if you're Jimmy Buffet - nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in circles. I can't close this briefcase. Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! Shit, I can sell lubes to a convent full of nuns, get 'em so horny they'll be fucking each other in the coffers. Naomi Lapaglia: I love it. This is our golden ticket to the fuckin' Chocolate Factory, right here. Yeah, there's like a 60 percent, you know 60, 65 percent chance the kid's gonna be fuckin' retarded or whatever Jordan Belfort: Feel free to reach out and connect. This movie unfortunately is too raunchy to ever be considered for an award, but it is a quality film. Jordan Belfort: No, no, this can be explained. Its fairy dust. Jordan Belfort: Brad: Jordan Belfort: Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: Jordan Belfort: Leah Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: I'll tell you what: I'm never eating at Benihana again. Brad: This is what you do? Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed. Good! Naomi Lapaglia: In 1987, Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) takes an entry-level job at a Wall Street brokerage firm. Jordan Belfort: With their beautiful wife by their side, whos got big voluptuous tits. Who? Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer and they have to fucking [picks up the phone, then calmly, in a transatlantic accent]. Controlling the sale by keeping it on the straight line (every time the customer tries to take the . Max Belfort: Donnie Azoff: You were, like, screaming at people. The fucking hero I'm gonna be back at the office when the Bureau seizes this fucking boat. We require immediate assistance! That spoke volumes, didnt it?, The three of us exchanged glances but said nothing. Jordan Belfort: Captain Ted Beecham: Good! Your hair looks good. "Fuck this, shit that. Below Ive put together the best Wolf of Wall Street quotes on money and success. The Wolf of Wall Street is one of the most iconic films of the 21st century Credit: Alamy. Jordan Belfort: Hey, pal. Leonardo DiCaprio's iconic dialogues from 'The Wolf Of Wall Street No, I don't wanna implode, sir. There is no such thing as bad publicity. Keep talking, you fucking piece of shit! It's the first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. [Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest] Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties. It's flooded! Its because you have not learnt enough. Give me one for the nerves! When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified. Once in the morning, right after I work out. Think about it. Jordan Belfort: Gotta pump those numbers up. Wouldn't you like to know how to sell it? FYI boys, Danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants. I love you. The Matthew McConaughey's Wolf Of Wall Street chant soon became of the most iconic parts of the movie and is right up there in popularity with the actor's own " Alright, alright, alright " from Dazed And Confused. Is he fucking crazy? So It's Wolf of Wall Street, But for Learning How to Pick Up Girls There were certain things that you just didnt joke about; it was simply bad luck. I want you to come for me like it's the last fucking time. 9 famous Wolf of Wall Street quotes | The Sun And they're all shaved too. Search, discover and share your favorite The Wolf Of Wall Street GIFs. Jordan Belfort: Mark Hanna: I mean, we had similar interests and shit. You can sell anything? Technically, you do work for me. Don't worry about it, I got it. Exactly. Donnie Azoff: Paramount Pictures - The Wolf of Wall Street Screenplay We can't! Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: I don't even listen to it half the time. Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that youll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed. Jordan Belfort, If you want to be rich, never give up. Guys with sales experience. Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room. But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct? Jordan Belfort: Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that youll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed., The easiest way to make money is -create something of such value that everybody wants and go out and give and create value, the money comes automatically., I've got the guts to die. Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government. Brad: Sides? You cleaning your fishbowl? I love you so much. I have a low blood sugar thyroid thing Jordan Belfort: So there's a silver lining to that too, honey. Jordan Belfort: We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell! This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Companies these people know. If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation. Privacy Policy You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little downside risk. The Wolf of Wall Street - Rotten Tomatoes Right, exactly. I'm a mutt. You're gonna give me a pass? Saturday Night Fever territory. Right? Donnie Azoff: It was a madhouse, a greed fest, with equal parts cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids. A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it. The easiest way to make money is - create something of such value that . Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable, ugly fucking wives. I have some really, really great news. Biography, Know Your Critic: Clint Worthington, Founder of The Spool and Senior Writer at Consequence. Jordan Belfort: Some little hooker you were fucking last night? Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: [pauses] Cunt, cock, asshole." No one's gonna fucking die! I'm not gonna let someone, you know, one of these assholes fuck my cousin. Jordan Belfort: I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece. the self narration, similar to goodfellas and moments where leo talks directly to the camera and you, the audience, are key. Let me get that right. Come for me, baby. Hello, John. And you got the beautiful girls there. Right? Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: It was a hefty sum, $5 million, and in truth it had little to do with setting them up. Absolutely not but we were making more money then we knew what to do with. Jordan Belfort, There is no such thing as bad publicity. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Whoa! Jordan Belfort: Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. Jordan and Donnie cut up lines as a HOSTESS serves Bloody . Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! He's got a gun, you fucking idiot! She had been my mistress, for Chrissake! It's never landed. Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Look at yourself! If anyones gonna fuck my cousin, its gonna be me. That's right, I forgot. And you brought in all the sides Tell him about the sides. Shit about you and your cousin or something like that. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran Stratton-Oakmont, a Long Island-based pump and dump that . Like, Run free! You know? Donnie Azoff, There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. They all want something for nothing. I put the money on that fucking table, not you! I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my back pain, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine Well, because its awesome. Jordan Belfort, There are two keys to success in the broker business; first of all you gotta stay relaxed, secondly you gotta always get stay high. Mark Hanna, Fugayzi, fugazi.
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