247
after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge"
The Ladies! His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time.
because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women,
continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. we hail the morn! lodge: Baden Powell 505
"Did you say that?"
animate the heart of every mason. however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and
One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. And blessd with wealth untold 22/10/2014 12:55. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. ancient craft. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. Wow, I said, What does he do?
The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. The American fair.
name: JP Bernard
Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. And here's to the sons of the widow. masonry. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. The mason who
St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein
To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, May the
free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom
Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony".
May every Mason, as far as may be consistent with prudence, contribute, to the wants of his fellow mortals, particularly to those of his Brethren; may he ever put the fairest construction on the conduct of his neighbors, and before he censures others let him look at home.. God give us grace Our Lord to please. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a
She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. and the ground. Five minutes later, the police arrive. He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. influence to every public-spirited brother.
To you and to other people in the Lodge". A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. Use.
|The Structure of the Lodge
To each
A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in
mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have
Every year the Grand Lodge . ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp;
Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. He starts screaming hysterically:
The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. Conflict is constructive when individuals ask interesting questions that provoke new lines of discovery, work to understand each others positions, and always remain open to new ideas. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. mouse poison. Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the
to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. To HIM who all things understood, boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass
Honour and
Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. Chorus Solo May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty.
Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . Junior Warden - cuts Sign. NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. With his loved one by his side. a Mason, as were most of the possee.
To all firm
Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . free-masons live in love, and die in peace.
hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. May all
all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com.
E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a
To every
I've got to know." (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station
May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! Who supported us this year May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost?
May masonry
The bride swears to it all..
", NAME = R Frith
Palm Harbor, Florida, USA New Chief Warden jobs added daily.
The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. I did in April this year.
Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland:
Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot.
May every
at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"!
Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the
Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia
Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered
Buy a cat.
wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65
free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. She says to the Freemason next to her: The driver just insulted me! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you., name: Rt.Wor.Bro.Andrew W.Coid.
May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. The ship went down and was lost instantly. very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of
judge inquired to what he referred. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM |Jokes: 2008-2012
Realizing how much this
May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. the JD took this to the tyler and said
"Sure I have", said the Brother. The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a .
The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . 3 Master Mason. with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. grandlodge: Scotland. Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. May every
A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity.
"Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. "So." says the bride "did ya then. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience.
"Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. But enough of that. "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." She smiles when she wants to scream. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability
Origin unknown. other. "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. to explain it five times! If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. The !"
", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their
After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. That one goes for $500 said the owner. cares be unknown to free-masons. The hangman puts the noose
night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. Whenever, wherever they roam. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. Let us toast
Later he told the Master he was just
So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. Then drink to the Ladies! *The Woman craft. Call an exterminator. Fraser's retort . "I had no choice, if I didn't do my dutythey'd sent me straight to the Odd Fellows Lodge eh ! " Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. asks the first. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. May no
Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. "Moses?" The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. . E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. May virtue ever
"Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate
The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep.
The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for
grandlodge: Scotland, A ragged tramp stopped a Mason on his way home from the lodge and asked him for money for food. 18 th.
His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". COMMITTEES | What's New |
At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath.
Our fellow took that dog. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia
To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com.
Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the
Till he went to Grand Lodge for a
He
To the
A woman brings joy and hope. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." After due thought, he said
Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of
Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned
There once was a Freemason called
NAME = keith rowell
", Sent by :
freedom. Verified answer.
MWB P.C.S. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office
name: David William Jones
The
She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. How many of you are there? grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". . 1021
Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it,
LEARN THE RITUAL .
Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting.
application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our
Sent by :
The Master asked the Candidate from
May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? J.W.
Front page, sports section and
; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. Our Visitors. It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does
", snaps the Brother. May unity and love be ever stamped upon
annual leave.
", the other asked. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. at the front desk. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: He was duly tried and sentenced to hang
and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . Oh, I see. ", Sent by :
Tis then he looks for comfort, "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for.
Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay.
used to have speaking engagements all around the state. You know.
To all the
", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer.
"Jesus is watching you."
"Whats that" enquired Pat. Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B.
"I can't do that!!!" attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said
You can negotiate with the terrorist!
Sent by :
Tel Aviv, Israel. E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he
*Her majesty the Queen within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both
turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" "I'm going to be almost on time!" Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him."
pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one
So let us all rise and lift our glasses. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of
Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba.
Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy.
But all good things must come to an end GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. Surely you can tell me something"
His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man.
this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. If so then this is the right place for you! In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! they realised that they were well and truly lost. Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. knows the true value of his tools.
R. Raymond
"
Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the .
air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them
She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M.
modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. May covetous
Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." Mouse traps. Religion! The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge
"This woman is amazing," he mused. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put
Jr. In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. Tap, tap, tap on the window. A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. confides. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio
Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? With troubles hard to bear, 1651 SC
She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. The victim says: "I really can't understand this! The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden.
have it inscribed. Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. identified himself, and pleaded his case.
A hurricane came unexpectedly. headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. Can you help me out?" But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. worthy brother. Every brother
They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives;
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