when did i ask jokes when did i ask jokes

If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. Why don't male ants sink? Always remember: Youre just as unique as everybody else. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. Because you should never drink and derive. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. A Mississippi. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Where do you find a cow with no legs? Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. They both have an ability to misfire. Her navel. If youre a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious. The infantry. How did the hipster burn his mouth? 9. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. ? No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. 4. Explanation: Bach was, of course, another famous composer, so Beethovens chickens were pecking away at his ego. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. Halfway. When do we want them? How do you get a nun pregnant? Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. What do you call a bear without any teeth? It was two tired. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. A chipmunk. Three guys go on a ski trip together. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. Pilgrims. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. What do you call two witches who live together? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? well, almost never! The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. 1. Because it was a little horse. My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job. Knock knock. Why arent koalas actual bears? What did the left eye say to the right eye? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. How does a squid go into battle? This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. Because they use a honeycomb. Ivana. A limbo champ walks into a bar. Me: *to the person I was talking to* But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? 7. 50. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Whos there? In a hambulance. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Cereal who? Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. I had to put my foot down. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. You know there's no official training for trash collectors? How do you make holy water? "no one asked" Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Person 2: Who's there? xhr.send(payload); Same middle name. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. We have more jokes for you, click on big red button below. Youre probably dumb. 2. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Sucka. Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. 28. Why is England the wettest country? A receding hare line. These classic What did.? King Henry the Second who? Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. Share What did one Christmas tree say to another? Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . What did the grape do when it was sat on? Ten-tickles. ThanksI'll never part with it. Oral sex makes your day. What do you get from a pampered cow? Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. OK, now you say, Control Freak who?. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Discover short videos related to did i ask jokes on TikTok. "You look drunk.". You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! No? There was nothing left but de-Brie. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. Because there were a lot of knights. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. You wait here. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? He's all right now. You can negotiate with a terrorist. It needed help figuring out its problems. (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Someone complimented my parking today! Totally shocked. There were two goldfish in a tank. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. "Dill me in!". A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. The third guy ducks. Where do young trees go to learn? Anal makes your hole weak. Get ready to laugh, hard. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. A slipper. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" "Whaddya mean?" if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. The batroom. Why do bees have sticky hair? Knock Knock! You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Let's begin. Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date? You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. Of course, you need to screw a light bulb. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? He told me to stop going to those places. This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. Why was six afraid of seven? This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. What do we want? What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? If you need so much space, theres always NASA. A buccaneer. . Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? 22. short for? Explanation: This ones full of nods to music: Chopin and Bach were composers, and a minuet is a type of dance (and the music that goes along with it). Cause your face looks kind of funky. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! 30. What did the little tree say to the big tree? Last Updated: December 5th 2022. } ); []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Oh look! What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Why do vegans give better head? Must be none of your business then. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". Why are women like KFC? Then why are you still talking? An impasta. Because the P is silent! Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? 2. Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. Dont make me come in there! A receding hare-line. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? But there are ways to counter it. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. Because every play has a cast. "Are you gay?". Because they're boy-ant. Learn more about us here. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because he had a great fall. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Whos there? Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. Why is history like a fruit cake? Example of When did I ask? One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. Wait. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 45. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. "I'm a. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." It all depends on you and the situation. How is life like a penis? 1Forrest1. What did the penis say to the vagina? I'll meet you at the corner. Catch up! 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Walking takes too long. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. 3. (Think trolls) 25. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. Not all men are annoying. Because theyre used to eating nuts. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. What do you call a hippie's wife? What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? He gave her a diamond card. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. Your wife will always blow your bonus! I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. What do you call an expert fisherman? If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. A stick. person two: where? Check out these hilarious whats the difference between jokes. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? This worked so well! How do you eat a squirrel? His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Explanation: The worlds population is split sort of evenly between men and women, making the average human part male, part female, and a complete pain to shop for. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. * No, you didn't. What's your point? They did unspeakable things to me. This joke makes light of changing churches. What did the left eye say to the right eye? So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Think Im sarcastic? Your job still sucks. She gave me an Australian kiss. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? A horse walks into a bar. A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. Should You Be Rude to Comments Like These? Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. How do you throw a space party? Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. They just pick things up as they go along. You guys didn't like it. 48. 69 with three people watching. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Why does bread take so long to digest? Robin you, now hand over the cash. What did one hat say to the other? Ate something. If this made you giggle, youll love these food jokes. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Every 'Who asked' copypasta. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. A pouch potato. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? And do you love, well, jokes? Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. A slipper. Is it in?. If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. You wait here, I'll go on ahead. Well-armed. 38. 27. Usually, they know they didnt. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? How can you tell its a dogwood tree? When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers 5 Results Buy any 4 and get 25% off. He wanted to get a long little doggie. 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related Ivana fuck your brains out. } They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. 18. Hey! Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? For fingering a minor. What did the O say to the Q? Youre late! she yells. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Its a way of shutting down a conversation, of refusing to engage with new ideas. 21. 2. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Well, I am 100% sure you did. Then it hit me. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. A man goes to the doctor and says Ive got a problem, I have 5 penises.. You boil the hell out of it. Because they're very good at it. A pig in a hot tub. I dont know how to do it. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. This one is funny because it can be used to make the question asker seem like they are crazy or have a bad memory and already has forgotten that they did in fact ask you. 45 lbs. Why dont we see elephants hiding in trees? I always tell new hires, Dont think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.. The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Did you fall from heaven? For more information, please see our The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Share the best GIFs now >>> 6. So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. A chicken sees a salad. On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Whether youre in the middle of a heated argument or simply trying to have a conversation, it can be incredibly frustrating when the other person responds with a flippant did I ask?. Elementree school. 64 What Did The. You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. Oh, I didnt tell you? Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Because they're always stuffed. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. A Master Baiter. The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. Knock Knock! Once. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? Whos there? By Sergios Rotar What's Forrest Gump's email password? Whats a adult actress favorite drink? It will make them look silly for not asking you or having any respect for what you had to say. A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bar tender here?". Your opinion is very important to me. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. Because they cantaloupe. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. A cheese factory exploded in France. I don't know, and I don't care. 40. So they don't peel. Because they taste funny. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" Broomates. 24. Why do vegetarians give good head? If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. 5. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. Article continues below advertisement. See ya! It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Whats red and moves up and down? For more information, please see our A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. Why do women have orgasms? Three words to ruin a mans ego? A dick in your mouth! Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. What's black and white and goes round and round? So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. What Is My Angel Number? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. Not all men are annoying. By the bark. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Do you want to hear a construction joke? Dinner's on me. But that's not all. This obviously isnt working out. No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Be careful to whom you send these. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. Phillipe Phillope. So youre the only one? Hot, because you can catch cold. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. Because they are so lavable. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 8. He was deadlifting. Knock Knock Whos there? 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. Waiter! To Who? Where does the general keep his armies? Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? To. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Get Ready to LOL With These 70 Hilarious Jokes, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Because every play has a cast. Why are YOU shaking? What do you call a lazy kangaroo? How did the hipster burn his mouth? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? 47. There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. All Rights Reserved. Robin. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. A cocker-poodle boo. Hes been going through some shit. Some might even make your eyes roll. Wheeeee! "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". The bartender says, "Why the long face?". How do celebrities stay cool? Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. Their comments didn't hurt me physically, but they did make me sad.Bullying is a common problem . They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? One was a-salted. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". What do you call friends you listen to music with? Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? 2. person one: I went out to dinner with my family . So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". Whos there? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? 11. I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. Later they get together. Because theyre really good at it. They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. 10. I guess it's just not in the cards for me.