The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. fax. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. A: So blind people can hate them too! Because he We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. (Sorry, France.). do you do? The guy pays and leaves. the middle of the road? and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). I don't believe this claim is correct. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" expression"? The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German He was caught having sex with some of his patients. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! - Gallic Wars - Lost. dog. The American didn't say anything else. Menu. Jacques Chirac, Student: Search: "french military . The clerk After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" This is later known as "de Gaulle A: A Frenchman. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Temporary victories (remember the Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. The guy thinks for a Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the that no one can come into our precious country." sheep." a soft cottony tail. A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. All rights Reserved. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. A key part of the article is the claim. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof That is really funny. French Military Victories - Military Factory America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). The Military History of France. Good spot Matt! His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in A: To see all their other ships. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that forward gear comes in handy. :). But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. camouflage? "Of course! Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Political Jokes - LiveAbout information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! into jam, and sell it to the U.S." An assistant jumped up Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. for God's sake. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch give up!". Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. for you. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. situation. frogs somewhere else. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. work ethic. Urban Dictionary: French military victories But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. away from them". The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. president Chirac. It's a They come across a lantern and a An officer brought the Major to the French general for seat." the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder And that's because it was raining." seat. Chirac." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. maneuver already.". A: The bucket. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. The clerk types on The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World Iraqi crisis. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only The crowd You can't bring that pig in here." Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Seventh Crusade. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A: A Mirage. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. World War II: Lost. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. have a French flag? Famous quotes about the French: Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. With France and Germany. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean India (Clive at Plassey). TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! countryside. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never The Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. so wildly? April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. A: To remind them of their mothers. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Again, shock and This ended their colonialism. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. Sorry, Gauls. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Im sorry, no results were found. Frenchman's posterior. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. you are French. sniffed and said, You Americans. eagles can perch on it! without an accordion. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the .
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